After my first full-time, week-long, mindfulness retreat this summer, I felt refreshed. A little before then, I had an insight about growing up and I had a strong sense of fear. The retreat helped me relax and directly experience my emotions. After that, I didn’t have those big boulders of fear on my shoulders and that’s the way I started school in the fall.
I thought I could be different in school because I practiced a lot over the summer, but I’ve become distracted by my daily life and became busy. Even though I have an internship at CML, having a consistent practice has been a struggle. Even though I need it, I haven’t been able to use the practice to be as mindful as I want to be…
This morning, my mindfulness instructor Soryu told me the story of a king who, like me, is so distracted by his responsibilities that he forgot what was really important. When he was asked what he would do, the king’s answer was, that, all he could do is be kind.
There are many things, even in the past week, that I could say that I regret because I didn’t live or react to things the way I want to. This has been bugging me, and now after my conversation with Soryu, I am more aware of that. Soryu told me that I can change how I live, easier than adults can, and I have to find how I want to live my own life. I understand that I could easily forget what’s important. I want to be kind to people. It’s been hard to keep it up. The first thing I can do is to try being aware of the truth.
Other Steps to take: 1. Controlling emotions
Isometime lose my temper and forget how to be kind. Especially when I’m with my friends, I tend to be “myself” more than other people. So, I can get selfish and pushy even though I don’t want to be. One way I can change this is to become aware of how I feel and to really show who I want to be, so I can treat the people I care about the way they should be treated.
2. Being kind to myself
When I think I did bad at something or if I think I can’t do certain things, I just lose self-confidence and I get depressed. This is really hard to control and I could think of many problems I’ve got from this. I told myself in these situations that I could work harder to be better at it or I could find something that will make me happier. Giving myself these options made me feel like I wasn’t lost. If I do this and tell myself positive things, like the fact the I can accomplish challenges, I could learn how to succeed in things that make me happy. Happiness, I think, is a form of being kind to yourself. 
3. Being loving to everyone
I’ve felt the sensation of love before. It’s a warm feeling in your heart that makes you smile. When I joined cross country running, I didn’t expect people to be nice, because I didn’t have good experiences in sports team in the past. Everyone ended up being really nice, and I came into practice smiling and giving hugs to everyone. I also feel that if I practice the other two levels, I’ll be able to automatically feel that for anyone, even strangers. If kindness can spread through the world by me controlling myself and being kind to myself, then why not?
4. Power through kindness
From being kind to other people through my practice, I can make people happier. When I decide to do something that is important to me, I have to remind myself if I’m doing something then its because it is kind to me or someone else.
I love the feeling I get when I’m nice to someone and they tell me it “made their day”. If I have the power to change one person’s day I could do something to change many peoples’ lives. Kindness is like a feedback loop; if one person is kind to a person, then the person would feel good and would want to do something good for someone else, and that pattern keeps going. This can change the mindset of other people to make powerful, kind decisions for the world.
For example, if a powerful politician has a kind mindset, they’ll use what they (and the citizens) believe is kind and good for the world. If the citizens believe that the government should take more action in world hunger – because they want to be kind and do something good for the hungry – the considerate, caring politician will promote that idea and show his passion for why he is making these decisions. He’ll make plans and strategize how he will set up to accomplish this goal of ending world hunger. He can help the citizens be kind to other people around the world anddo good in their lives, and also encourage them stand up for what they believe in.
-Steps To Take-
