In traditional Japanese Monasteries, New Year’s Eve is marked as an important occasion for reflection. In this evening’s talk Soryu discusses the importance of seeing the end of the year as an indication for our passing and precious lives. Soryu begins with a reflection on the importance of the dedications, the vows, made in community and by each of us personally. He then explains that seeing the limited time of this life need not paralyze us, but can enable us to cut through obstructions to giving our greatest gift to the world. Click here to read a full transcription of the talk.
This talk was given on December 31st, 2014.
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We come to the end of another year. For many of us it’s been a year, a full year, that we’ve spent together. This was first full year that we have functioned as a residential community and many of us have been here for that entire time. (paragraph)
We’ve in that year had the opportunity to see many residents go and bring their practice out into the world and we continue to see the effects of that, see the impacts on their lives and on the lives of those they touch. And we’ve had the opportunity to welcome new members into this community and that has been an opportunity for rejoicing. (paragraph)
We’ve had the opportunity to spend many wonderful days together many wonderful experiences together – we are, an amazing group – beautiful and lovable and inspiring group of people – its a great honor to be able to spend this evening with such a wonderful group of people. (paragraph)
And we have together working as a team made great progress towards impacting the world in powerful and just, caring and ethical ways. This is something that we can and should be very proud of. We are dedicating ourselves, we’re throwing ourselves into, letting go of our stuck, self-centered patterns and perspectives and creating a new kind of community, a new kind of economy that is capable of caring for life more fully than the dominant models that are available at this time in our history. (paragraph)
This is a magnificent dedication and we are living it. We are doing it. And we can look back on this year and know that’s what we’ve given this precious year to =- we can look back on this year and know that we have actually lived it, lived it with each day – and if we haven’t been here for the whole year, none the less, there are many things i know of the people who have joined us, there are still many things, regardless of being here, that each of us can be proud of – that we’ve done for the world. (paragraph)
And for those who have left it isn’t just about being here, the training, the dedication, the integrity, the love for each of us has been manifest with our lives. Its a magnificent achievement – that’s something to be proud of – something to be – depended upon. (paragraph)
Of course, we, we don’t know what’s going to happen. We as an organization have a vow, have a dedication that we share – and each of us has our own vow – something to be achieved in this life – something that you could say we were born to do – we’re being born to do – we’re going to die for – We each have that, we collectively have that. And we don’t know what’s going to happen. (paragraph)
Some people say that the goals, the commitments that we have are impossible to achieve – we’ll never do it – I hear this often – people say, “I just don’t want you to be disappointed – I want you to face it now that, the vow that you’ve given your life to is something that you’ll never achieve – I don’t want you to feel bad later” and we here we have the chance to experience something beyond that. (paragraph)
Of course, its not just about when I say here it isn’t just about the physical location – or being the official member of a certain community – here I mean in the position in awareness – here! in this open minded clarity – we, have a way of seeing beyond that – we see “its true, I don’t know if I’ll succeed at this vow – I don’t know about that. But, this vow, is something I can be, happy, failing for – I can fail for this and die joyful.” Its better to fail at what is good and true – then to succeed at what is bad and false – “I’d prefer to succeed at my vow of course – but, that isn’t ultimately, the point.” The point is to be fully dedicated. That’s what a vow is – its a dedication. And to live with that dedication is already a kind of success in itself – the objective success is a reflection of that foundational success. “And if the reflection for the time being seems to be failure, then, that’s okay – I’ll accept that. That quote “failure”, at my vow. I’d prefer that over succeeding at something that I don’t believe in. Something which is unethical or inauthentic or dishonest or selfish. (paragraph)
Now of course, as we know, we spend a lot of our time – people in society spend a lot of our time – not just not-succeeding at our vows, not just not-failing at our vows – and not even succeeding at something that’s inauthentic and uncaring – in fact we fail, even at that, don’t we? Happens doesn’t it? We work hard to succeed at something we don’t believe in and we don’t even succeed at that. (paragraph)
I was teaching a class over at saint mikes and I asked the class, “So, what do you really believe in? What is it that really matters to you?” and the most common answer was, “relationships. True Friendship. My family. The people I’ve been close to.” And it was a senior seminar so I said, “Now is that going to be reflected in your decisions as you leave?” And they said, “Yes absolutely.” (paragraph)
And I had a chance to go back at the end of the year and I asked everyone, “What are you doing? What decisions have you made?” And of those who had a clear answer, most were making a decision for work. To make money. and I asked, “What happened? What happened? You were clear – remember? That class? Do you remember what you said, to me?” And, they did remember then, that I brought it up. Not even one of the students had an answer. Not one ;person could explain what happened over those months. There was nothing to say. But there was one person, who for whatever reason, felt that that wasn’t a problem – he said that, “Well, I don’t have any particular goal. I don’t have the goal of being close to my friends – or making money – I don’t have any goal – I just want to live, that’s all I want.” (paragraph)
So I couldn’t help it. I had to let him know, I said: “Well I have some bad news for you. You’re going to fail at that. Soon enough, you will not be able to live. In a very short time actually – your one goal, will be impossible to achieve.” I bring this up because – this is serious – our lives our serious. Its so precious. Its essential for us to see the extraordinarily precious nature of each day – partially for our own benefit. Because each day is miraculous, each day can be filled with joy. To be able to see and hear and feel and know and love and, Fail! All of that is a miracle. All of that is incredible and so for our own benefit Its important to know how precious each day is. And Yet! In a bigger picture than that. Each day is precious because we do have something, to give. We have a song to sing – we have a dance to dance – we have a vow to fulfill! And there is very, little, time – to do that. There is not much time. Its passing very quickly. It’s passing very, very quickly. (paragraph)
Its important for us to be clear about this. Because if we see how precious our lives are to the world – how precious our true authentic life – a true loving life is to the world. Then we gain, what I talk about so much – we gain that sense of urgency – but its not a sense of urgency that’s based in panic and a frenetic frantic contortion. Its a clear and smooth and energetic slice – straight through the obstructions, to the fulfilling of that vow of that gift, of that magnificent joyful present – that we have waiting to be unveiled for the world. Its essential that we have clarity of the precious nature of our vow, of our commitment, of our love, of our creativity. That we have that DEEP faith – so that we can make use of each day. Make use of each day! (paragraph)
This time is passing. Here we are at the end of this year. And time, is absolutely merciless. Its absolutely merciless. We can play games in our minds – but there comes a day when we realize, “where did that time go? Where did those minutes go? Those hours go? Those days go? Those months go? Those years go? Where did they go? Where did this past year go?” Well its Gone… that’s where. Its just GONE. It cannot be retrieved. We can’t gain enough power and money to buy it back. Its Gone. (paragraph)
Its merciless the passing of time. Here we are, at the end of this year and its important to be clear that that’s an indication of the end of our lives. its a clue. (paragraph)
This was the essential shift for the buddha. He was a prince – moving towards the fulfillment of his vow as a bodhisattva – and he realized for the first time he saw that we die – and people say well, that’s ridiculous “you can’t not know that you die and be in your late twenties and not ever know that people die.” And yet how many of us get to our late twenties – how many of us get to the end of our lives without noticing that we die. Without seeing that death, meaning time, is absolutely merciless. (paragraph)
There is no way to argue and say, “Wait! Just a second, I’m confused, I don’t know what to do – just wait for a second! When I figure this out – then we can keep on going with this life.” There’s no one, to say that to. (paragraph)
This year’s ending. It’s important that we see that as an indication of our own end – our end that is in process – that is happening and that is coming – coming coming coming without any interest in our opinion about that. (paragraph)
It’s important that we see this clearly – because we so often, we so easily get off track – worry about things that have nothing to do with what we wish to give this life to – we get worried about this and we get worried about that – we get caught up in this we get caught up in that – but if we see the precious nature of this day, the precious nature of our lives – then we’re in a position to slice through that – and then,yes, we may get caught up again but we can slice through that – so that we move closer and closer to the fulfillment of our vow. (paragraph)
The essential component of that, the essential component is a true willingness to die. This death, is, you could say the thing that prevents us from fulfilling our vow – if its merely a physical death – but if its the death of our “selves” – then that’s what enables us to fulfill our vow – because each thing that obstructs us – the summation of all those things that obstruct us – that has a name – there’s a name for that, its called, “self”. (paragraph)
My shame: “I can’t do it. I shouldn’t do it. Who am I to do it. Look at this big world out there, its so real. That’s the real world, I’m in this little container here – little fake world that we made and its not real – and I’m just a fake person anyway – I’m just making it up, I don’t even know how to do it – this isn’t even going to work, there’s no way, I’m just gonna fail at this.” (paragraph)
It’s so easy for us to get lost in that – its so easy for us to get distracted and start trying to do things that we believe in: “I believe this is right, I’m holding on to this belief”: This is what I’ve concluded through logical pounding out of views. “Here we are, now I’ve got something that I’m going to hold on to and believe in.” (paragraph)
We can get lost in so many ways. And yet, right here, if we see clearly the merciless passing of time – the precious nature of time – that time is that which enables us to fulfill our vow – in just the same way that time is the thing that if we don’t befriend it, if we don’t make use of this, day, of this moment – then time is the thing that prevents us from fulfilling our vow. (paragraph)
That we see our relationship with time, with the passing of time – as the essential component – as the essential component in our lives. We see that CLEARLY! So that each obstruction that comes up becomes – simply – the next purification, the next awakening, the next insight. So that we’re more able, to completely die, to completely let go of everything! So that, in letting go of everything – there’s nothing more that can obstruct us – from being true to ourselves, from being able to be TRUE, to our love.
Able to completely let go – of whatever comes up – totally let go of all of it. (paragraph)
And then we find out, “Is there anything left? Is there any motivation, beyond clinging? Beyond fear? Beyond resistance? Is there anything else? Is there anything more basic than that? More foundational? Before that and after that – faster than that and slower than that – above that and beneath that. Is there?” (paragraph)
If we find that out, then we have broken – we have broken the obstruction. It still can require years of trying to clear away, the wreckage of it – but at least its not active, at least it has a fatal wound. This is our opportunity – we’ve given ourselves this opportunity so that we can give our greatest gift to the world. We can feel the enormous confidence that comes from the experience of giving that gift and seeing directly that the experience of GIV-ING that gift transcends whatever success or failure may be stuck on us by others, or even by ourselves. (paragraph)
Let us dedicate ourselves as this new year opens. Let us dedicate ourselves to completely breaking through, completely letting go of everything we’re holding onto – So that there can be nothing left to obstruct us from manifesting, from actively living – our love, our truth, our vow with a confidence that goes beyond success and failure. That goes beyond the entanglement in time. But which does not separate from time. This is our opportunity. (paragraph)
I’m very grateful to be giving my life to this opportunity and this community.
-Soryu Forall